Jane's Baby Story Part 2

My goal with Jane's pregnancy was to keep Jane in as long as possible. I was not too concerned about how she was going to get out. Once we reached full term, I was finally ready to think about a birth plan. To be honest I hadn't thought much about a birth plan because I thought for sure she would be early too. Jane's due date was August 14, 2011. My doctor scheduled a c-section for August 15, 2011. I agreed to the scheduled c-section because my doctor informed me of the risk of a ruptured uterus when attempting a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section). As the due date approached I became more and more adamant about having Jane as naturally as possible. Attending a birthing class refresher course for parents really created this drive for a VBAC. Of the ten women in the class, not one had a natural birth with no intervention. This struck me as odd. I always thought natural was the norm and interventions like Pitocin and epidurals happened only when necessary. A few women had the same story that worried me. They were past due, doctor used Pitocin to induce labor, labor pain excruciating, opted for epidural for pain, mother fine but baby becomes distressed because of strong labor pains caused by Pitocin, resulting in c-section. I do not have positive associations with a c-section. To me it was unplanned, scary, painful with a long recovery. After hearing these other birth stories with lots of interventions, I finally spent some time researching VBACs and the best ways to avoid interventions. Online resources like VBAC.com helped immensely in educating myself, but the most empowering and enlightening moment came after watching the documentary, The Business of Being Born. The film validated all my feelings and gave me the confidence to fight for the birth I wanted. And often times it did feel like a fight. On August 12th, my doctor recommend inducing me on the 13th. Jane wasn't even past due yet, what was the hurry? I pushed my doctor off til the 16th. That day I also canceled the planned c-section for the 15th. On Monday the 15th I cancelled the induction wanting more time for labor to happen on its own.

Tuesday the 16th I went to see my chiropractor. Last I saw him was in May, to which his parting words were, "When you are ready to go into labor, come see me." I was ready, so I went. My appointment was 2:30 by 5:30pm I had started contractions. I do not count this as an intervention because it did not involve drugs, but it is a fine line. I went to the hospital around 1:30am. When I arrive and checked in, I was told I was 4cm and promptly threw up. Not my last time either. My water had not broke yet so I labored and waited. With Thomas I showed up at the hospital 5cm dilated with virtually no pain. Not the case with Jane. I labored from 1:30am to 4:00am with little progress. Rule of thumb is a cm/hr, I went 1cm in 2.5 hours. At 4am I agreed to have my water broken but no Pitocin. The labor pains intensified. I tried several positions, they all provided little relief. I thought I would want to walk around, but felt that I could not move off the bed. Tom was great and just rubbed my back when needed. The most comfortable position for me was sitting straight up with the exercise ball between my legs (I was supposed to lean over the ball but couldn't manage to bend over). Time just stopped. The nurse said she would check in on me in a few hours. As I went through a batch of bad contractions I thought surely that must have been thirty minutes, no it was five. Litterally no joke it was only five minutes later. After that, I shut my eyes and barely opened them until Jane was born. I couldn't stand to look at the clock or anyone's face for that matter. When the nurse came back I was caving on the pain front. I started asking about epidurals. It had been two hours and if I hadn't gone past 6cm, I was going for the needle. So when the nurse said 8cm, I had a resurgence of confidence that I could do this and go another 2cm. Another bout of vomit and 2 bouts of eliminating on myself (so not prepared for that aspect of labor, had no idea that happened), it was time to push. I felt like pushing at 9cm but the nurse yelled at me saying, if I pushed now at 9cm, I would hurt myself and the baby and probably end up in surgery. Scary part was that it actually crossed my mind that if I allowed that to happen, this labor thing would be over after a thirty minute surgery. Luckly cooler heads prevailed and I focused on my breathing until 10cm.

At 7AM it was time to push. Pushing was not painful like the contractions but physically exhausting. After an hour I was getting discouraged but my nurse and Tom stepped up, told me I was doing great and got me threw to the end. I have to admit that I one point I stopped pushing. The nurse was saying push, push, push and I was like f-you women I am tired. I felt the contractions and did not push. The nurse asked, "Are you contracting?" I lied and said no. She totally knew I was lying because they have those monitors on you, I am sure if I had my eyes open she would have been giving me a nasty look. My doctor came in around this time about 8:30AM. Since I was taking a "breather" the doctor left. After a few moment I felt my resolve come back and wanted Jane out. I started pushing harder and Jane was born, 9:10AM. By the way the doctor did not come back in time, the nurse barely caught Jane and then almost fumbled her. Tom was ready to either deliver the baby or making a diving catch to prevent her hitting the floor. Alas, all was well and Jane was born a healthy girl at 7lbs 9oz and 21 inches. My husband was a God send throughout the delivery and my Mom was so patient in the waiting room. Thomas spent the night with Grandma Annette and was introduced to Jane in the afternoon. The Kortes are now a fabulous foursome!

Jane's Baby Story Part 1

Jane was not a planned pregnancy and took us by happy surprise. Though to be honest I was not sure I was emotionally ready to go though pregnancy again, especially after the difficulties with Thomas's pregnancy and settling into a new house. After confirming the pregnancy with my new high risk OB, Dr. Muckerman, he got started right away on trying to figure out why Thomas came prematurely. Because there was no obvious reason for the early labor, risk of having another premature birth and an earlier premature birth was at a higher risk for me. So he started a battery of blood test to check out many possibilities. The prevailing thought was that I had an autoimmune issue where my body went on a seek and destroy mission of the pregnancy. Your body is program to seek out foreign entities and destroy them. When you get pregnant, the pregnancy hormones "hide" the baby from your body. The doctor thought that perhaps my body does not do a good enough job "hiding" the baby. Thus, once it finds the baby it starts labor to expel the foreigner. The other possibility was that I had a blood clotting disorder which would block the tiny blood vessels in the placenta. This would send distress signals to the baby via lack of oxygen and nutrients and thus labor would begin.

Before the blood work came back. I started to bleed a lot. The pregnancy was confirmed on a Thursday and I started bleeding on Saturday. I called the doctor and he said there was nothing I could do. If I was going to loose the baby, I was going to loose the baby. He wanted to see me Monday to perform an ultrasound. It was a long and emotionally distressing weekend. Come Monday I was prepared for the worse. Being only 4 weeks along there was a chance that the ultrasound might be inconclusive. If it did not show a baby it could be because it is too early in the pregnancy to show on the ultrasound or it could not show because I lost the baby. To everyone's surprise, not only was the baby still there, she was nine weeks along not four! Great news but we were not out of the woods yet, I was still bleeding. I was put on bed rest until the bleeding stopped, which was about a week.

Two weeks later the blood work came back and nothing was conclusive. It appeared I did not have the autoimmune issue but I did have a slight genetic propensity for clotting. So the game plan became, taking blood thinners for 36 weeks, which needed to be inject daily into my abdomen. Not fun. I was also put on special medication to prevent preterm labor, needing weekly injections. I felt like a pin cushion and it looked like my abdomen took a beating with all the bruising from the injections. But at least we had a plan! It was comforting to know that we were doing something to prevent another early labor. I would have endured a hundred daily shots if it meant not spending three months or more in the hospital again.

After the external bleeding stopped, it was noticed that I was having internal bleeding in my uterus. These "bleeds" continued to show up on the ultrasounds for weeks and were a constant threat on the pregnancy. Once the bleeds passed, then came the water on the brain. You tend to get nervous when the ultrasound tech asks if you are considering genetic testing. To which you immediately think, do I need genetic testing? What did you see to make you ask that question? One ultrasound showed the baby had water on the brain which is a red flag for a genetic disorder. More blood work and more weeks of agonizing wait for the result. Thankfully the results were good and water eventually went away. With so many ultrasounds every little thing was picked up. Which on the one hand was good monitoring of the pregnancy but on the other hand led to a lot of unnecessary worrying over issues that in a normal pregnancy would resolve itself without me ever knowing about it. The state of the pregnancy was an ever constant concern on the back of my mind. I am immensely thankful that I have and engaging and engrossing profession that keeps my mind busy so I did not have time to think about the pregnancy. Then I would come home to being busy with Thomas. My hectic lifestyle was a saving grace to my sanity. I rarely discussed the pregnancy. It took a long time before I was ready to let people know, especially at work.

After the scare with bleeding and genetic disorders passed, it became a waiting game. Waiting to reach 18 weeks( the time implantation is considered secure), 27 weeks( the week Thomas was born), 32 weeks (baby lungs are developed and would need minimal hospitalization if born), 37 weeks (consider full term). Jane made it to 40 weeks plus 2 days!

First Swim

I love, love this picture! Thomas's first lake swim was Memorial weekend, 5/29/11. The water was still really cold but as you can see, Thomas did not care. He has had so much fun this summer swimming in the lake and at the pool. We haven't gone in a while since the July heat wave. What you don't see in this picture, is that lurking in behind Tom is a snake! About 30 seconds after this shot was taken a snake popped up and ruined the fun. Both boys flew out of the lake.

Like a unicorn, a picture of me pregnant is elusive and rare. Here is one at 37 weeks. We are heading to a couples baby shower. At the shower I enjoyed refreshing lemonade only to find out it was spiked with vodka. No wonder it tasted sooo good! Luckily I found out sooner rather than later or the pregnant DD would have been drunk.

Thomas is giving his sister a hug! If you ask him to kiss or hug his sister he will go to my belly and oblige the request. I am not sure what he understands about his sister but he associates her with my growing tummy. Too cute!

May 24, 2011

One of the moments I do not want to forget. This is a picture of Thomas telling me in the best way he knows how that he no longer wants any more baby food. His developmental therapist, April, suggested we let him touch and play with his food to get him over his aversion to things touching his hands. So I let Thomas play with his food as I tried to feed him. Normally, Thomas would just put his pointer finger in to explore but today he took fists full of baby food and smeared it all over his face. He never did anything like this before. He painted his face and most of his head with squash. I just laughed the whole time. He was such a mess that he needed an immediate bath afterwards. But I got the point, he was a big boy that no longer wanted baby food and if I gave him that stuff again this is what he was going to do with it.

Where does the time go. . .?

I can't believe it is August already and we are preparing for the arrival of baby girl at any moment. I am sitting at the kitchen table working on Thomas's baby book. The book tracks his first year and first moments. All I keep thinking is that I can't believe he is 16 months. As I reflect back on his first year I am glad I blogged some because it is hard to remember all the details. I am also thankful for his therapy notes that kept track of milestones. I feel like it is going by too fast and I missing and forgetting moments already. Which is a good motivator to blog again and write down these moments.

To the Park!

A few weeks ago both my brothers and Charlie's girlfriend Monica came to town for a visit. Weather was great so we had some BBQ and a lot of deck sunning. It was also the first time we took Thomas to the park. He had so much fun on the slide, swing and other apparatuses. Lucky for us Charlie is a big kid at heart and no problem crawling, climbing, sliding and swing with Thomas.

Tommy's First Crawl

He crawls! March 31st Thomas became mobile! For a while he was stuck in reverse, pushing himself backwards. He figured out first gear and now moves forward. The great motivator to achieving this feat, Mommy, Daddy, food you might think. No, the beloved, coveted and highly forbidden cell phone. I guess the want for what we cannot have starts very early.

12 Month Check Up

Thomas has learned to fear the doctor's office. It was a battle royale for his 12 month check up. Damn he is strong and feisty. The worst is that you are the one who has to pin him down as he get his shots and they check his body. He just looks up at you with such betrayal in his eyes. Well maybe I am exaggerating but you feel so guilty! Thomas was born 3lbs and 15.5 inches. He is now 22lbs 10oz and 30 inches long! He ranks in the 45 percentile for weight and the 55 percentile for height, not adjusted!!! Developmentally he is around a 10 month old. The doctor is amazed at how well Thomas is doing. She thought with all his problems in the NICU we would see many more chronic issues. But his heart is in good shape, he hasn't had respiratory problems and his only illness since we left the hospital was a single ear infection last week! We are on the look out for hydroceles. Which means that there is an opening in his testicular area which allows for swelling of his testicles. We have been watching it for a year and they have not closed. The doctor is giving it until his next visit. If the hydrocele is not closed by then, we will have to take him to a urologist and have then surgically closed. Yikes!

Thomas is qualified for the Missouri First Steps program which means we get a physical therapist and a cognitive specialist to come to the house once a month to evaluate Thomas and suggest various techniques and therapies to help him grow. Socially and cognitively Thomas is right where a 12 month should be. Physically he is delayed but no more than his adjusted 9 month age. Thomas is not crawling yet but he gets around in his own way. He knows what he wants (anything he is not supposed to have, paper, cell phones, pens, wires, laptops etc.) but just not how to get there. We are in big trouble when he finds first gear.

Happy First Birthday!

We made it one year!!! I cannot believe how far Thomas has come. It is hard for me not to cry when I think about what a year it has been. And how truly fortunate and blessed we are for having such an amazing son. To celebrate we threw a little party. We had about 20 friends and family over for a Sunday lunch, the day before his actual birthday. The weather was beautiful and we spent most of day outside. Thomas was a little weary of all the people and noise. He get tired quickly and napped through most of his party. He was not too into his cake. Daddy tried to spoon feed him some but he did not seem too impressed. Later he was able to get a few fingers in the icing and smear it all over his face and hair.

On his actual birthday we took him to the zoo! Tom took the day off and his father, little brother Nick and Svetlana came with as well (they were in town for the week). The zoo was great. It was sunny, 80 degrees and it felt sooo good to be outside. (meanwhile as I type this it is 30 degrees and snowing in STL) The zoo was crowded and Thomas was more interested in the people at the zoo than the animals. Which was fine since I myself felt more like a pack mule than a person. The stroller was overflowing with diaper bags, cameras, cooler for snacks, water bottles, toys, blankets, hats etc. When we got home we spent the rest of the evening outside playing games with Nick and visiting with family. It was a perfect two days of celebrating Thomas's birthday.

Bad Nana?

So Thomas has just begun sounding out consonants. He is very vocal and "sings" and "talks" a lot. This whole time Tom and I say mamama and dadada in hopes of Thomas's first word being either Mama or Dada. However, Thomas's first consonant is nanana. Like he is trying to say Nana, what we call my Mom. While my Mom assures me, promises me she doesn't spend all day trying to get Thomas to say Nana, I am not buying it. Hahaha. So the Nana is on watch and might be let go if Thomas's first word is Nana. Oh wait, we couldn't find more loving and better caretakers for Thomas then the Grandmas and ones that are willing to work for free! Okay Thomas you can say Nana all you want.

Winter Fun

We have had a cold and snowy winter in St. Louis much like the rest of the country. Though not nearly as bad as most. But enough to get me a few days off of school and enjoy the day with Thomas. Thomas was not a huge fan of the snow, especially when his Dad throws his first snow ball at him. Mean Daddy! We did put him in his red wagon with blankets and towed him around the yard like the prince of Egypt! It was very cute. We did try him out on a sled but any movement made him fall over. Next year he will be a sledding pro.

Blog Redemption

Wow has time flown! We are planning Thomas's first birthday party and it hits me that I am not writing enough. I feel like I am going to miss events and start forgetting things. So here is the effort to redeem my journal.
First Christmas- We spent Christmas in Missouri and had lots of company. My brothers both flew in and Charlie's girlfriend Monica came with. Plus both of Tom's sisters were back from college. We hosted Christmas Eve at our house. The first time we ever hosted anything that big. Luckily I managed not to burn dinner and we all had a good time. Christmas day was spent at Annette's. Little Thomas has a tree full of gifts, a sight to see. It was a wonderful time. A week before Christmas Thomas got his first tooth (bottom middle) and started rolling!